The Ten Commandments of Rock'n'Roll

Brought to you by Ben's Kosher Delicatessen

1. Thou shalt have no God save Lemmy, for Lemmy art God and James Hetfield be his profit.
   
   
2. Thou shalt not be that guy. (also known as the "Droz Commandment.") Also written as "Thou shalt not wear the t-shirt of the band headlining, nor opening the gig, unless ye be in the band's road crew."
   
   
3. Thou shalt listen to one Rush, and they art Canadian.
   
   
4. Thou shalt not turn it down, unlest thine significant other complaineth.
   
   
5. Thou shalt not mosh lest ye be under 25.
   
   
6. Keepeth thine foot out of stadiums, lest there be artists thou hast never seen live.
   
   
7. Thou shalt not sing "All Along the Watchtower" lest thou knowest the last verse.
   (also known as the Bono Commandment, applies to cover tunes in general.)
   
   
8. Taketh thine apple of knowledge from the Tree of Porcupine. With thine knowledge, thou mayst Stump the Trunk.
   
   
9. Yield us not to temptation, lest it be Within Temptation--or possibly the Temptations.
   
   
10. Thine IPod shall runneth over with thine tunes that art ballsy. And they shalt be shareble MP3s for thine comrades. Yet ye shalt freeth 5 megs for thine OS.

Addenda: Should the Almighty strike the author dead with lightning, he shalt ride it.

Marillion Pull the Plug--Again

Marillion have a new record out, as of Oct. 5. Less Is More is the band's sixteenth effort, a studio album where songs from the last 20 years are re-examined as acoustic numbers. (All the songs date from the band's two decades with current singer Steve Hogarth. There are no Fish-era songs included.) Incidentally, 2009 marks the founding of the band (originally named Silmarillion) in 1979 by guitar player and sole original member Steve Rothery.

Turning off the amplifiers is nothing new for Marilion--the band has been releasing acoustic live albums through their website ever since the 1998 Live At the Walls and the fan-club only A Piss-Up in a Brewery recorded at the Bass Ale bottling plant. In fact, the last time this reporter saw Marillion was in 2005 when their three-man "Los Trios Marillos" tour (minus Mark Kelly and Ian Mosely) rolled through New York and played the Bowery Ballroom.

Listening to the song fragments that are included on the band's recent series of YouTube webcasts, the songs on Less Is More sound revitalized, with fresh energy and an exploration of new textures. The boldest choice on here iss the decision to re-do "Interior Lulu", a difficult track that was a fan favorite but one the band worked on for the span of two album sessions before it finally appeared on marillion.com. The band does not play this one live too often, and I hope that its presence on Less Is More may result in its return to the set.

Anyway, here's the track-list:

1. Go (marillion.com)
   
2. Interior Lulu (marillion.com)
   
3. Out of This World (Afraid of Sunlight)
   
4. Wrapped Up In Time (Happiness is the Road)
   
5. The Space (Season's End)
   
6. Hard As Love (Brave)
   
7. Quartz (Anoraknophobia)
   
8. If My Heart Were a Ball it Would Roll Uphill (Anoraknophobia)
   
9. It's Not Your Fault (new track)
   
10. Memory of Water (This Strange Engine)
    
11. This is the 21st Century (Anoraknophobia)

plus a bonus track. Yay!

The album can be ordered direct from the band. Purchasing the CD gives you a free digital download. The record will be released in our few remaining North American record shops sometime in November.

Kantoj de morto kaj akvo!

Concert Review: U2 Cured My Vertigo!

I arrived at FedEx Field on Tuesday night to see this stop on U2's 360º Tour. Once we reached the top level and climbed up to our seats (section 425, row 20, nine rows from the top) I looked down--and my knees just buckled.

The stage set for this tour is a huge claw-like structure with a central spire that rises to 181 ft. The band is playing on a circular stage surrounded by their fans. Another circular catwalk surrounds the stage. Movable cantilever bridges allow the band to move back and forth between the inner and outer stage. The whole is topped by a multi-faceted, expandable digital cyclorama television that raises and lowers, expands and contracts during the show.

I felt my knees weaken. My stomach turned. It was the vague uneasiness you get on a roller coaster but with no chance of that welcome, precipitous drop. I sat there uncomfortably until Muse came on--and I was still uncomfortable during their set. It didn't help that I don't really know Muse's stuff that well, and thanks to the stadium's wonky acoustics, I could not understand a word sung by Matthew Bellamy. My stomach would not stop churning. I walked down (carefully) halfway through their set. I walked around the concourse, had a Johnny Rockets' burger (not bad for stadium food) and tried to get my head together.

When I returned to my seat, I still felt uncomfortable, out not as severely as before. I kept thinking my jeans would slip off the seat and I'd go careening down to the floor in the ultimate stage-dive. Finally, U2 took the stage, opening with "Breathe" and "Magnificent" from their new disc No Line On the Horizon. I was still wobbly until the band played "Elevation." We all rose to our feet and howled along with Bono. At that point, the vertigo, the queasiness and the fear went away. Later in the show, they played "Vertigo", and I felt no ill effects at all.

Highlights included a thrilling "City of Blinding Lights", "Sunday Bloody Sunday" (dedicated to the political oppression in Iran) and a thunderous remix of "I'll Go Crazy If I Don't Go Crazy Tonight" (featuring Larry Mullen rocking a djembe and all four band members roaming the outer catwalk. A sweeping "Walk On", dedicated to Burmese political prisoner Aung San Suu Kyi ended the set.

"One" was introduced by Bishop Desmond Tutu. Finally, the central core of the stage set turned into a giant lighthouse with a mirrored onion dome at the top sending radiance throughout the stadium during "With Or Without You." The building shook. Bono sang "Ultraviolet (Light My Way)" while wearing a laser-firing leather jacket, tracing red beams through the smoke. And the band finished with one more new song, the gorgeous, soaring "Moment of Surrender".

Even with the massive, eternally-evolving stage set, this was a great, simple rock show, presenting the U2's strengths in a whole new way. The rock-solid rhythm section, Bono's theatrics and the Edge's unique effects-driven guitar still work--even if they were playing under a single work-light. Perhaps they should do that on the next tour. Meanwhile, check out the official site of the U2 360º Tour.

Twenty Bands That Will Probably Never Get in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame

One band's struggle for entry into the Hall of Fame (or at least a nomination...sheesh)

The latest slate of RRHoF 'nominations' have arrived. This year's list of the anointed includes Kiss, Jimmy Cliff, Genesis, The Hollies, LL Cool J, Laura Nyro, ABBA (?!)and the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

We're happy about the Genesis nomination, although the R&R voters are probably basing it on the Phil Collins Invisible Touch years. And Peter Gabriel has been eligible as a solo artist since 2002.

Of the others--ABBA? I personally like Laura Nyro. Seeing the Peppers on this list makes me feel kind of….old?

Oh well. Here's the list in order of eligibility. Artists are eligible for induction 25 years after the release of their first record.

So here's the list of twenty (so far) omitted bands, in order of eligibility....

1. Deep Purple (eligible since 1993)
   
   
2. Blue Cheer (eligible since 1993)
   
   
3. Yes (eligible since 1994)
   
   
4. King Crimson (eligible since 1994)
   
   
5. Hawkwind (eligible since 1995)
   
   
6. Blue Öyster Cult (eligible since 1997)
   
   
7. Judas Priest (eligible since 1999)
   
   
8. Kansas (eligible since 1999)
   
   
9. Rush (eligible since 1999)
   
   
10. Journey (eligible since 2000)
    
    
11. Heart (eligible sine 2000)
    
    
12. Motörhead (eligible since 2002)
    
    
13. Iron Maiden (eligible since 2005)
    
    
14. Mercyful Fate (eligible since 2007)
    
    
15. Marillion (eligible since 2007)
    
    
16. The Misfits (eligible since 2008)
    
    
17. Queensrÿche (eligible since 2009)
    
    
18. Megadeth (eligible this year)
    
    
19. Slayer (eligible this year)
    
    
20. Anthrax (eligible this year)
    

And for the record, Britney Spears will be eligible in 2024. Oooh.